Dear Dr. Karyn,
My wife and I divorced a year ago and I want to start dating this woman from my work. Is it too early? How should I start dating so that it won’t ruin my relationship with my kids?

Answer:
One of the most common mistakes I see parents making when they start dating after a divorce or death is that new relationships come at the expense of the parent spending less time alone with their children. Regardless of what you might think, children desperately want a close relationship with their parents although few of them will actually say this. It’s important that you regularly spend time one-on-one with each child without your new dating partner. And when I say regularly, I don’t mean annually but weekly or monthly. Invest first into this parent / child relationship. Remember, relationships take time. Manage your expectations realizing that your child will probably be reluctant to get to know your new dating partner. This is normal. Only when your parent / child relationship is fully fed will your child be willing or able to accept your new dating partner. And don’t try to be a sales person for your new partner. Give it time and let your children get to know your new partner at their own time and pace. If they don’t feel threatened by this relationship, they will likely be much more accepting of it.